Boasting In My Weakness
The summer of 2015 had an interesting start.
It started with me in my own fantasy world, let’s call it my “bubble’, thinking that I knew what was best. I never wanted that world to end.
Why? Because that bubble was great! In that bubble Kaylah knew what she was doing. She was the girl who people relied on and the girl who always delivered on her promises. I was the rock star, who was center stage and everyone was chanting her name.
Kaylah! Kaylah! Kaylah!
I could see it! I could feel it!
But then that bubble popped. I thought that I was on top of the world when really I was at the base of a mountain struggling to climb up. I thought I didn’t need the ropes and the harness to make my way up. I relied on my own strength and effort. I thought that I could do this no problem!
Then I fell.
In fact I would say that this summer has hands down been on of the most humbling times in my life.
I have had to confess my weaknesses time and time again. I have had to reveal that I do not have my life together and I definitely do not have all of the answers. I have had to ask for others forgiveness and request that they show me grace even though I do not deserve it.
Remember that “strength” and “effort” that I was relying on? Well that was the stumbling block for me this whole time, not only that I still have the cuts and bruises to prove it! What’s crazy is, even as I fell, I was still yelling “I got it!, I can do it!”
I thought that I could do the work and that I didn’t need Christ’s finished work.
Oh how I had it wrong!
I needed to boast in my weakness so that Christ’s strength was shown all the more. I needed to rely on Christ to be my strength because he will always deliver on his promises. And when I don’t have my life together that shows the sovereignty of God and that he has a far better plan for me than I could ever have for myself.
Christ is who has been holding me up this entire time, my firm and immovable foundation. I have learned that I need Christ in all aspects of my life not just the parts that I deem necessary. Whether it is in the highs and lows of life, I am always in need of Jesus and He is constantly interceding on my behalf.
I don’t need to hide imperfections or where I fall short.
Jesus is the perfection that I could never attain and he makes up for where I fall short, which is in every way.
God has been poking and prodding at my heart and I expect that I will continually be humbled but through that I will rejoice in Christ my Lord and Savior.